How to pick someone up at a gym in 3 easy steps

Okay...so I'm CERTAIN that at some point or another everyone reading this will have either thought about, attempted, or succeeded talking to the cute person doing pushups next to you at the gym. Unless you've never been in a gym...in which case, this advice works just as well for an outdoor enthusiast, dog walker, etc. One of my best relationships started at the gym, and I've also put my foot in my mouth more times than I care to count. There was the time I started chatting up a handsome guy and alllllmost got to the part where I asked him his name before I realized I had met him the day before...with his wife. And the time when, under the influence of a truckload of extra hormones from a egg donor procedure, I blurted out to another trainer (whom I'd worked with for TWO YEARS) that I'd always been attracted to him. Sigh. Well, shit happens, and if you're gutsy enough to strike up a conversation with a hot individual there's always the chance you'll get shot down. But here's a few ideas, from one who sees this every day, of how to approach someone with grace.

1. Don't stare. Staring is by far the most commonly offensive thing a person can do to let someone know they're interested...and guys, the girls can sense it even when their backs are turned. If you have any interest in talking to someone, especially if you'd like it to potentially turn into something else, don't ruin your chances before you even open your mouth. Notice, make a mental note, then go back to whatever you were doing. Trust me...high creep factor applies to those who stare!

2. Be honest. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it's amazing how many times I've been approached by people (in the gym and on the street) who have asked me "What does your tattoo mean?" I'd much rather they say what they're thinking, like, "You're really pretty..." or "Your pull-up form sucks!" If you really want to talk to me, say something real...most people can tell the difference right away, and will be more interested in having a conversation with someone who comes across as genuine.

3. Be friendly and look them in the eye - smile! Many a person has gotten blown off because they couldn't make a connection before the other person either got weirded out or lost interest. We're humans, we're social creatures...openness goes a long way, and shows that you are putting yourself out there. Do that, and even if you don't get a date out of it, you might gain a friend or, at least, someone else to wave and smile at during your workout.

Of course, whether or not the person you approach will end up dating you depends on tons of things, some of which are totally beyond your control. But hey, even if all you got from this post is a small realization ("Oh, you mean this boy might not like it if I pretend to be really interested in softball when I actually don't give a shit beyond staring at his abs?"), that's good enough for me. Man...in fact, #2 could have really saved my butt that one time in 2006...

Okay, so it's crappy outside (part 1)...

Ah, November. I so could do without you. I was born and raised in Florida, which means that the gray Seattle weather is a mite bit challenging...more than a week of somber days without sun and I'm pretty convinced that I should just lie around and eat carbs all day. November is particularly rough, and December isn't much better, so what's a girl to do? How can one get motivated to move, and once motivated, what kinds of stuff can one do in the city when it's cold and drizzling (or pouring) rain (or snow)? In this post, I'll tackle the first part of this question, without which the second part doesn't matter: motivation! Getting up the chutzbah to exercise is tougher when the days are short and the weather uninspiring. It's kinda like you're on a balance scale, outweighed by a few extra seasonal stones on the other side. You could jump and add the weight of that action to your side of the scale, or you can hop off and go find some rocks to add to your side.

The idea of jumping is one I'll relate to making a sizable commitment to a health goal. Maybe you sign up for your first 5K, one that takes place in mid-December (like the Jingle Bell Run). Or you join Weight Watchers, or commit to fitness or weight loss challenge at your gym (like the one at Zum going on right now). You could also plan a trip to enjoy the winter weather, like a ski/snowshoe adventure that you can look forward to. Throwing down money and/or dedicating yourself to something is a great way to get you off you butt more of the time...it's a big jump that can help knock a few of the rocks off the other side!

The other extension of the simile is finding some more rocks to pile on your side. They need to be cool rocks, special rocks, and you need to go find them yourself (although people can have good suggestions of where to look). They can be your secret weapons again lethargy. I'm assembling my rocks for the season, and am finding the need for a few more, but here's what I've got so far. I've got a new obsession for hot yoga, which makes me feel amazing enough in the aftermath that I commit to going regularly. I have a daily routine that's making me progressively stronger and more flexible (i.e. it's working). I'm trying to cook using seasonal vegetable and minimally processed foods (though I still have the box of chicken nuggets in the fridge for those nights where I just can't make it happen). And I've started changing my breathing, bringing it lower into my abdomen - this might sound strange, but it's giving me better awareness of tension in my body and encouraging me to do something about the tension when I notice it. I think I could maybe use a pebble-sized couch restriction...this one end of our couch is waaaaay too comfortable, and I tend to fall into it after the kids go to bed. But you get the idea.

You can do it, little campers! Gather up your energy and catapult some rocks, or go on a merry little hunt...either way, you're in charge of how this season affects you and your health! :)

You gotta have a reason...

* to get up in the morning

* to work late sometimes, even when you're tired

* to do four more push-ups

* to give your best effort, even if no one is watching

* to not purposefully rear-end the car that just cut you off

I've started looking for the-guy-behind-the-guy in my own life, and it seems I have many friends (thank you, rad friends) that are also trying to do the same thing. We all have reasons for doing things, ideas that drive us to make particular choices. Some of those thoughts come from places we've explored within ourselves, while others are more unconscious. I discovered a few years ago that I was terrified to try to do anything, anything at all, that I wasn't positive I would excel at. This meant that I'd spent my life doing lots of things very well, and totally shying away from anything that represented a true challenge. It's taken a lot of work to dig out the roots of that idea, and more work to find out how to listen to a newer, more fragile voice that tells me something different about myself, and emphasizes another truth. I am a learner, someone who loves and craves knowledge, and the best way to learn is to try new things, all sorts of things, with confidence that if I'm not the best at it right away, I will learn and improve and grow.

What are your reasons? Do you know? Take a look at them and see if there's another layer that you haven't explored...that new information could be all that's standing between who you are and who you may become. :)

There is NO SUCH THING as "holiday eating."

This post is going to be short and sweet...I basically just have to rant for a minute. Look, people...I know we live in capitalist America. I know we tend to treat everything from November through January 1st as one big "holiday season." But I also know I'm not the only one shaking my head when I see the Xmas lights go up at Walgreens right after Halloween. So I'd like to set a few things straight. First of all, it's NOT a holiday season. These holidays (whichever ones you and your family celebrate) are separate events that happen to be nestled fairly closely together. And while it is true that there are a lot of "holiday parties," these events are no excuse for throwing your health out the window along with your self-discipline and the jeans that fit. Because there is NO SUCH THING as "holiday eating." There are "holidays," and there is "eating," and the two shouldn't get confused in your mind. If you wouldn't eat it normally, now isn't the time either. If you need to look off the homemade cookies someone brought to work in order to feel good in your body and not die the next time you take an exercise class, DO IT. If you'd like to stick to the veggie platter at your company work function and avoid the fondue and free bar, DO IT. You're in control at these parties, and if it's important to you to eat well, you've got to be the one to make it a priority (even and especially from now through December).

You're also in charge at home during the holidays - will it be eggnog tonight? Another plate of turkey and stuffing so it doesn't go bad in the fridge? If you wouldn't do it normally, don't do it now. Also, if you traditionally bake delicious things for people this month or the next, consider either making a healthier version or doing something else for them entirely. Help your friends make good decisions by not being one of the people that gives them peppermint fudge with a beaming smile, saying "I made these myself! Have one and tell me what you think..."

Okay, rant over. Don't believe the hype, people, and don't fall off the wagon now expecting to leap back on come January...it's harder than you think! I do love the tastes of fall, though, so here's a great recipe for apple cider...it's delicious and won't break the calorie bank! :)

Hot yoga...like, REALLY hot yoga.

Welcome to my new obsession! Even though I've been a trainer for twelve-odd years and have practiced everything from mixed martial arts to ultimate frisbee to Pilates to parkour, I've never tried Bikram yoga. There are reasons for this, trust me...I hate the heat, I hate sweating, and I think yoga is boring. At least, that's what I thought before all my clients started (independently) raving about it. Like a sign from above, a Groupon showed up in my email a few weeks ago - 20 hot yoga classes for $20. I officially had no excuse. I've only taken a few classes, but I'm already totally hooked...if you're interested in trying it but haven't yet, read on and I'll tell you about my experience/impressions of it.

So, the heat. It's the most remarkable (meaning "most remarked on") part of the practice just because it's that aspect that sets it apart from other kinds of yoga and other types of exercise classes. I mean, let's face it, the only place you're going to work out in temperatures of over 100 degrees is if you're outside and somewhere warm (although I remember my capoeira master cranking up the heater in the warehouse and yelling things like "Brazil!!" on a regular basis). In those outdoor scenarios, you inevitably have other environmental factors that influence what you're doing - varying levels of humidity, hot sun, different terrain. Hot yoga is like being in a sauna, but somehow you and everyone around you are expected to be doing things...like, working out and stuff. It's this whole other thing. I've always had issues with spas and saunas because I get really bored just sitting there doing nothing. Trust me, standing on one leg like a stork and trying to lift your heart towards the front of the room while bowing yourself forward (I don't look like this) is a heck of a lot harder when it's really hot! All the studios that I've checked out are very good at explaining what to expect if you're new to hot yoga, including encouraging you to sit down if you feel dizzy, stay in the room instead of freaking out and bolting, etc...they emphasize this stuff because you will feel like bolting, and passing out, at times during the class. But staying till the end is worth it, which brings me to my next point...

I had a hard time at the beginning of class yesterday. My balance felt off, and I was low energy and a little stressed. There were at least fifty times during that class when I thought to myself, "I don't want to do this anymore. I want to go home." This is where I'm super glad that I do this in a class setting. Because I'm competitive and Type A, I was able to say firmly to myself each time I felt that way, "I know you want to quit, but you're not going to. Everyone else here is working hard at whatever level they're at, so don't be a wuss. And don't be too hard on yourself." Deep breath. Try again. It's a fabulous kind of class for us perfectionists because it's pretty much the same sequence of poses each time. You know what's coming next and you know how much time you have to work on each thing, so you can put your best effort in. I spoke with the instructor after class about my goody-two-shoes-experience, and she said, "Yeah, pretty much everyone who does hot yoga is like that." I think she's got a point...I definitely feel surrounded by my obsessive/compulsive peers as I'm dashing sweat from my forehead in frustration.

Is hot yoga for you? If you relate to the last paragraph, that's a good sign...if you want to kill people like me, then don't bother reading any more. If you're trying to lost weight, hot yoga is ridiculous...you burn between 800-900 calories in a 90-minute class. I'm not trying to drop pounds myself, so I have to eat beforehand and have a hefty snack afterwards because I'm about to gnaw my way through the polished wood in the studio by the end of class. The cardiovascular benefits of hot yoga are significant - I love this because poor heart health runs in my family, and it's great to have another way to train that doesn't involve high impact on my joints (like running or high-intensity circuit training). I was skeptical about one of the supposed benefits of the training, increased flexibility, because I wasn't convinced that the increased range of motion you get during a class when your muscles are super warm would carry over into the "normal" world. Well, I've only taken a few classes, but my muscles (once they stop being a little stiff) feel more elastic and more strong, if that makes sense.

So yup, I'm a believer...I'm thinking of sneaking in a 12pm class today, though, even though I went yesterday. It's different enough from everything I've already done (and from anything I ever saw myself enjoying) that I'm finding it influencing the way I think about exercise in general. I've been enjoying the structure of the class so much that I'm re-examining the way I plan my clients' workouts...building in more mindful routine instead of running them around to different exercises with no pattern to keep it "fun." I've bullied clients (and my husband) into doing some version of the Daily Ten program I posted about last week, and I've been doing my exercises every day. Something about the yoga just brings up this fierce fighting spirit in me and makes me want to do right by myself. It's hard to explain...maybe you should just try it for yourself!

But bring a new or bleached towel to class, because I've discovered that it's not ME that's stinking so bad by the time we get to the Bow Pose. :)

The Daily Ten

I don't know about you, but I cringe when I hear the word "daily." To me, this word represents my biggest challenge: taking care of myself (and my life) consistently. I have a really difficult time carving space for myself even when things aren't very hectic (which, admittedly, is hardly ever the case), and as soon as life gets crazy what little time I've managed to convince myself to allocate seems to melt away. This may seem hilarious to other people...I mean, I'm a personal trainer! My whole entire JOB and passion is encouraging and aiding people in taking good quality care of themselves! And here I am, totally unable to do it for myself! Meh. So I've come up with a strategy to help me do what I've told tons and tons of clients to do before this, and I want to share it with you. If you have the same issues as I do in 1. making time to do something good for your body and 2. figuring out the best use for that time, this post might help! Here's a walk-through of what I did to come up with this daily plan:

* Write a list of things you'd like to work on, no matter how big/small the ideas might be. What kind of results are you looking for? Don't worry about measurables yet...this is just a kind of slightly-more-practical-wish-list. It doesn't have to be technical at all - you can say "I want my love handles to be effin' GONE" and that's fine!
What I wrote: increased shoulder/hip flexibility, stronger core, more activated/stronger mid-back, smoother body integration

* Brainstorm about these ideas...what knowledge do you have about exercises that could help you work on these things? Write down kinds of exercises (like "core stuff") but when you can, try to be more specific. This is where a knowledgeable friend or trainer can help, but chances are you already know what you need to do...it's just actually DOING it, right? ;)
What I wrote: stronger core (planks and side planks, Pliates stomach series)

* Decide how much time you want to spend doing these things. Remember that it's a daily thing - try not to bite off more than you can chew! You can devote a separate time frame for the things on your list, or use them as a warm-up or cool-down along with another workout - whatever works best for you and your schedule.
What I decided: My routine takes about 30 minutes all told, but I've given myself permission to break it up into as many segments as needed, so I only need 5-10 minutes at a time. As long as it all gets done!

* Using your time guidelines, figure out how many exercises you can use and how many sets/reps you're going to do. Now that you have a time frame, you might find yourself prioritizing your list. You might realize that it's more important to you right now to work on decreasing your chronic knee pain than it is to improve your top running speed. You'll end up including more exercises and set/reps for the squeaky wheels - this is a good thing, as it'll help you make progress on those things faster! And you can always re-priortize as you start to see results.
What I ended up with: more exercises and time spent on core strengthening and a little less for hip flexibility...I realized that my core imbalance post-C-section was really getting in the way of my training, and I wanted to focus on that at the moment.

* Go through the routine you've come up with. Do the exercises you chose feel like they're working on the areas they're supposed to target? If not, take some more time to think of/research different choices, or have someone look at your form to make sure you're performing the moves correctly. Did it take the amount of time you estimated? If not, figure out what you can cut/add on at this point, keeping your priorities in mind.
What I found: I've got a lot of experience creating programs like this, so my first run-through went pretty well...I decided to cut down the amount of time I used the foam roller, though, and added in another mid-back mobility move instead.

* Finally, take a look at your finished list and think about how you're going to measure your progress. If your goals are vague, like mine are ("increased flexibility" doesn't have a set end point, for instance, just a continuum), find some metrics you can use whenever possible. Then decided when you're going to evaluate yourself - it doesn't have to be weekly, or monthly, although those are fine choices. If you can, set specific goals based on these ideas!
What I decided: I want to increase my core strength, so I put side planks into my workout. I timed myself on each side the first day and found that number way below what I would like it to be, so I set a goal for myself that the next time I test (in a month) I will double that first time. Some stuff, like the shoulder flexibility, I'm keeping more as a "how does this feel/how well am moving" thing right now, but I might come up with a flexibility test later on.

The hardest thing for most of us is giving ourselves the time and energy we deserve. Even for an experienced athlete or weekend warrior, our emphasis is rarely on the everyday things we can do to keep our body performing at its best. Putting something like this together, and committing to it, can bring your awareness into your body and even encourage you to work hard in other areas of your life. At least, I'm hoping it'll do those things for me! :)